Married With Chipmunks
by Glenn S. Byrnes (B&M)
After a long and hard day of fighting criminals and saving lives, the Rescue Rangers were all just about dead on their feet when they landed the Ranger Wing in the hanger at Ranger Headquarters at about ten o' clock at night. "We have all done a good day's work, everyone," said Chip as he helped his wife Gadget out of the plane while Dale helped out his own wife Foxglove. "I'm very proud of you all. Now what do you say that we all go get some shuteye?"
"Sounds like a good idea to me," Dale answered as he and Foxy headed towards their room. "Good night, everyone."
Gadget Hackwrench Maplewood headed for her and her husband's bedroom while Chip went to one of the three rest-rooms that they had for the men, the women, and one tiny little one adjacent to Monterey Jack's bedroom that Gadget built for Zipper. After he brushed and flossed his teeth, he then took off his hat and jacket, took a bath, and put on his nightshirt and nightcap before he joined his wife in the bedroom. As soon as he was out of the men's room, Dale Oakmont went inside it to repeat his partner's procedure.
As soon as Chip was in the bedroom, he looked to find his wife on the bed as she struck a very provocative pose in some extremely revealing lingerie. "I've been expecting you," she said seductively. "It's going to be a night that neither one of us will ever forget."
Dale went to his own bedroom, and he looked all over it, but he wasn't able to find Foxy anywhere. He then went to bed only to look up to find her hanging on the ceiling over him with a seductive look on her face.
"Surprise, cutie!" she shouted as she then swooped down on him and into the bed. Dale was surprised, but he didn't complain. What happened next is best left to the imagination while similar activities were occurring in Chip and Gadget's room.
About a month later, the male Rangers all got aboard the Ranger Wing as they prepared for another case. Gadget, however, walked slowly behind them. She didn't look very well at all, and this worried Chip who then asked, "Are you all right, honey?"
"I'm fine, Chip," she lied as she tried in vain to conceal her illness so that Chip wouldn't worry about her. She then began to feel dizzy.
"Don't tell me that you're fine," said Chip. "You're sitting out this case, and there is no point arguing about it."
"I think that I'd better forego this case too, Chip," said Foxglove, who was looking a little green around the gills herself much to Dale's concern. "I feel a little under the weather myself."
"All right," Chip said to the mouse and bat as he started the engine of the Ranger Wing. "You girls better see Sparky while we're gone. See you tonight."
After Sparky the mouse obtained his doctorate at M.I.T., he began practicing veterinary medicine in a mouse-hole of a nearby animal hospital. Together with his faithful sidekick Buzz the guinea pig and a few mouse nurses, he established his own clinic for all the animals of the city.
Night fell when the men solved the case and returned to Ranger Headquarters. The girls were there to greet them as Gadget joyfully ran up to embrace her chipmunk husband. "Great news, sweetheart!" she shouted as she kissed him. "i'm pregnant! We're going to have a baby in about eight months!"
Chip was overjoyed as the other rangers all congratulated him on his impending fatherhood. "Congratulations, mate!" shouted Monty. "I always knew that you had it in you. Now Gadget has it in her, she has."
Chip was so thrilled that he was soon hugging and kissing all of his teammates. "calm down, Chip," said Dale. "It's great that you're going to be a dad, but you're getting too excited about it."
"What do you mean?" Chip asked. "you would act the same way if it happened to you."
"I would not," replied Dale.
"You would too."
"Would not!" Dale replied. "As a matter of fact, I would be cool, calm, and collected about the whole thing."
"it's great to hear you say that, sweetie," said Foxglove who was all aglow with joy, "because I'm pregnant too! We can expect our own little bundle from Heaven to arrive at about the same time as Chip and Gadget's."
The overjoyed Dale then fainted on the floor with a big smile on his face while the others all broke out in laughter, especially Chip.
The rangers all spent the next few months preparing for the two blessed events. Gadget and Foxy were both given maternity leave from their ranger duties for the duration of their pregnancies. The girls both looked forward to becoming mothers, especially Foxy who took great joy in her pregnancy as she looked with extreme pride at her gradually swelling abdomen and breasts which were previously hidden underneath her pink fur; nevertheless, she still looked beautiful, and even more so in Dale's eyes.
Foxy used her sonar to listen to hers and Gadget's unborn babies' heartbeats which came in loud and clear. it was a sign that both babies were perfectly healthy.
Gadget then drew some blueprints for a nursery, and she decided to make one out of the bedroom that she and Foxy shared before they married the chipmunks and was used as a guest room ever since. First, the rangers put up some wallpaper with various Mother Goose characters on it. Next, Gadget built a crib, a playpen, some high chairs, and some carriages with help from Monterey Jack. She even installed a pole suspended from the ceiling for Dale and Foxy's child to hang from in the event that he was a bat. As a finishing touch, she built and installed a surveillance camera and an intercom so that the expecting parents can all keep an eye on their offspring even from the other rooms.
Chip and Dale soon became very considerate and attentive fathers-to-be to their wives. Dale gladly waited on Foxglove hand and foot as the months went on. Chip tried to wait on Gadget, but she always politely declined it as she said, "Golly, Chip! I'm pregnant, not helpless!"
Chip looked at his wife with pride as her belly began to protrude, and her bosom and posterior began to swell from the fourth month onward. The glow of her pregnancy made her look more beautiful than ever, especially as far as Chip was concerned.
Those weren't the only changes in Gadget's appearance, however. During the third month of her pregnancy, she stopped wearing her jump suit, and she began wearing blouses and skirts. She even actually began wearing dresses a month later.
Chip and Monty began noticing some subtle changes in her personality as well. She began losing interest in inventing and mechanics as she began to engage in housework with Foxglove, and they both soon became very good at it. She even began to cook as her meals actually tasted good instead of tasting like machine oil. This caused Chip to begin worrying that the tomboy mouse that he loved and married was slowly changing from a master inventor and engineer into a housewife.
"Not to worry, Chipo," Monty reassured him. "She's just going through a phase called the 'nesting period.' Me own mum went through it before I was born. Gadget will be her old brilliant self again when the wee nipper comes."
"It goes without saying that you and the girls will make wonderful parents, Chip, but what about me?" asked Dale with a worried look on his face. You're always telling me that I'm irresponsible. What kind of a dad would that make me?"
"Easy now, laddie," Monty replied. "You and the wee one will get on just fine. After all, you're just a big kid at heart."
"Monty's right, Dale," Chip added. "Ever since you met Foxy, you gradually became much more serious and a better detective. Nobody can say that meeting her wasn't the best thing that ever happened to you."
"You got that right, Chip!" Dale proudly replied.
"Besides, you'll have her to help raise your kid, and I don't have to tell you that she will be a wonderful mother. Believe me, you're going to be a great father. As a matter of fact, we can both rehearse our roles as fathers by using a model."
"But what are we going to practice on?"
Chip gave a mischievous look at Zipper, and Dale soon knew what his partner had in mind as he followed suit. The little fly soon read the two chipmunks' minds, and he then gave out a loud gulp before he chirped out an "Oh, no!"
Chip first dressed up the reluctant insect in a baby costume. He then put a baby bottle full of milk in the fly's mouth . When the chipmunk asked if the milk was flowing freely, the fly responded, "I'll say it is."
It was then Dale's turn. He practiced play-time by tickling Zipper into a fit of giggling.
Then came the lesson that Zipper dreaded most of all: changing diapers. Zipper attempted to get away, but the chipmunks soon overpowered him. After a great struggle, Dale soon saw a neatly wrapped diaper around somebody's butt. Looking up, however, he saw Zipper flying away diaper free, and he then noticed a very angry and diaper-clad Chip who then bopped him on the head.
As the months went by, the chipmunks went through their training with flying colors. Everybody was looking forward to the blessed events, but there were some who had to attend to matters of their own.
"Is everything ready?" Fat Cat asked his dim-witted thugs at his office in the Happy Tom Cat Food factory.
"Everything's all set, boss," said Meeps as he prepared a large table of various delicacies suitable for cats, rodents, and reptiles alike. "Rat Capone should enjoy this spread that we're setting for him and his boys."
"Everything had better be perfect, my moronic minions," the feline racketer said. " This crime war between Capone and I has gone on long enough. This dinner is meant to help decide which one of us will be the undisputed ruler of the animal underworld once and for all."
He continued the inspection when he suddenly shouted, "Mole, you cretin! Didn't I tell you not to eat the cornbread? It's for the banquet!"
"I'm sorry, Fat Cat," Mole apologized. "I just can't help myself. That cornbread is so soft, light, and full of air."
"Indeed, it is, Mole," said Fat Cat as he bonked his stupid goon on the head. "Just like your head."
About ten minutes later, Rat Capone finally arrived with not only his two thugs, Arnold Mousenegger and Sugar Ray Lizard, but he also brought two of his newest goons as well. One of them was a muscle bound bully of a rat named Iron Mouse Tyson, and the other was an obnoxious loudmouth of a lizard named Rowdy Roddy Reptile.
"All right, Fat Cat," Capone said as he sat down at the table to eat. "Let's get down to business. We were fighting this crime war for months now, but it's still a stalemate."
"Yeah," Mousenenegger replied, "and it's still a tie, too."
"Shadup!" Capone snapped. "What we need is a tie-breaker."
"I couldn't agree more," Fat Cat responded. "I know just the thing to settle our little business dispute and permanently cure us of one major headache at the same time. We can go hunting for some Rescue Rangers, and whoever captures the most rangers wins the crime war. Agreed?"
"Agreed," said Capone with a cold smile as he and Fat Cat shook paws on the deal.
It was the ninth and final month of the girls' pregnancies. Gadget and Foxglove were both enormous by then, but Gadget was bigger. While the bat hung from the ceiling knitting little garments for her child, the mouse spent all of her free time doing anything but mechanics and inventing. When they weren't doing housework, they took childbirth classes with the boys that Sparky held at the animal hospital, or they just sat down and chatted about their families' future together.
The anxiety was building around the chipmunks. Chip was very worried about his impending fatherhood, but Dale was a complete bundle of nerves. He tried to be helpful, but he only turned out to be a total pest; for example, he once offered Foxglove all types of wired food that expectant mothers are supposed to crave when all she wanted was a glass of water. Dale once got so nervous that he even warned that if Foxglove didn't go into labor soon, he was going to go to the hospital without her.
The news of the pregnancies soon traveled fast around the animals of the city, and Ranger Headquarters was soon swamped with gifts from grateful creatures that they have helped over the years. The Rescue Aid Society gave them a whole slew of baby toys. Queenie and her hive gave them a special baby oil made from honey and beeswax. The unborn babies were even offered full scholarships as cadets in the local Bark Brigade once they were old enough to enroll.
Even Tammy offered her services. The teen-age squirrel offered to baby-sit the babies while the Rangers were out on cases. "I'm one of the best baby-sitters there is," she boasted. "I have lots of experience. I looked after the children of all the animals in the park for years. It comes from taking care of Bink while Mother's away."
"Golly, that sure nice of you, Tammy," thanked Gadget, "You would do that for me?"
"Certainly! I'm a big girl now. I'm over my crush with Chip."
They then shook paws, and this caused a small doll to fall out of Tammy's sleeve. The doll greatly resembled Gadget, and it had little pins sticking in it.
The next morning, Monterey Jack started driving the Oakmonts to their childbirth class in the Rangermoble. They were only yards away from home when Fat Cat's goons came out from behind some bushes from which they were hiding, and they threw a large net over them.
The captured trio then shouted for help at the top of their lungs. Hearing the cries for help, Zipper and the Maplewoods ran out of the tree where Rat Capone and his four flunkies immediately overpowered them.
"Well, Capone," proclaimed the fiendish feline, "it looks like our little contest is settled."
"But, boss, both teams have three rangers each," Snout pointed out. "It's a tie."
"Not for long," Fat Cat replied. "Both of the ladies here are with child. The first one to give birth settles that tie. All we have to do now is wait."
"Come on, doll face," Capone said to Gadget. "Since you're about to be a widow anyway, what do you say you be my moll and give your kid a step-father?"
"Are you kidding?" Gadget spat out. "I could lose this baby by just looking at you."
"Shadup!" he shouted as he shoved mouse to the ground.
This was too much for Chip. He quickly struggled until he was free from the grasps of Capone's goons, and he then jumped on the rat racketeer in a blind rage as he pummelled him with his fists.
Foxglove saw what happened, and she soon took it as her own golden opportunity for freedom. She then bit Fat Cat on the arm as hard as she could, and she caused him to scream out in pain as he dropped her onto the ground. 'I HAVE BEEN BITTEN BY A BAT!" he shouted. "I HAVE RABIES! HURRY, YOU DOLTS! FORGET THE RESCUE RODENTS, AND GET ME TO A VET QUICKLY!"
Fat Cat's henchmen quickly dropped all of their hostages as they picked up their boss while Capone's own goons all let go of their captives to help their boss, who Chip has just beaten senseless for shoving his expectant wife.
Seeing the chaos as their golden opportunity, the rangers all climbed into the rangermoble, and they fled to the hospital.
The rangers made it safely to the hospital just in time because the girl have both began to go into labor. Sparky then called for Buzz and a nurse to load them each into a wheel-chair and take them to the delivery room, and they promptly did so.
Suddenly, Rat Capone and his goons barged into the hospital lobby where the male rangers were waiting, and the result was a terrible fist fight between them.
"Congratulations, Mr. Maplewood!" shouted a nurse as she interrupted the fight. "you are now the father of a healthy baby boy!"
"Did you hear that?" Chip asked with joy. "I'm a father! I have a son!"
The other male rangers and even Rat Capone and his stupid thugs then stopped the fight to offer their congratulations to the new father. The chipmunk then took advantage of the situation by shoving two of the goons as he made them trip over Dale, who was standing on all fours right behind them. The thug then hit their empty heads on the ground, and they were soon unconscious.
The fighting resumed between the male rangers and Capone and his two remaing thugs until the nurse came out into the lobby again and said, "Congratulations to you too, Mr Oakmont! You now have a beautiful daughter!"
"I'm a father, too!" Dale shouted joyfully. "I have a little girl!"
Everybody then stopped fighting again in order to congratulate to new father. Monty then took advantage of the situation to sneak up from behind the three remaining crooks while they shook both of Dale's paws, and he hit them on their empty heads with all his might. The three thugs then joined their two partners in crime in Dreamland.
"By the way, Mr. Maplewood," the nurse then said, "You also have a daughter. It's twins!"
"What are we waiting for?" asked Monty. "Let's go see the little dodgers."
The men then hurried into their wives room where they saw a very tired but happy Gadget in bed holding both a baby boy chipmunk and a girl mouse that looked a lot like a diminutive version of her, and Foxglove hung upside down from the ceiling as she happily nursed a baby girl bat who looked just like her except for the fact that she had her father's brown fur.
"They're beautiful!" the two chipmunks both proudly said about their respective new offspring.
""What do you say that we call the boy Geegaw?" Gadget asked Chip as she remembered her late father.
"You got it!" Chip answered. "Let's also call the girl Jennifer. I have always liked the name."
"Our daughter is a as lovely as a flower," Dale proudly said to Foxglove.
"In that case, we'll call her Magnolia," Foxy smiled.
"I can hardly wait to get home," said Gadget. "I have some inventions that I would like to try out."
Chip gave out a sign of relief. His wife was her old self again.
All of Dale's fears and anxieties about being an irresponsible father quickly evaporated the instant he saw Magnolia. He and Chip then picked up their daughters, and Monty picked up little Geegaw as soon as he finished passing out cheese rolls to everybody.
The boys took the children to the hospital roof a few minutes later. They then looked down below, and they saw all the animals in the city who have come to see the next generation of Rescue Rangers.
"Tell me, lads," Monty asked. "How did you two get such great families?"
"Just our dumb luck, I guess," Dale proudly answered as they held up the babies for the entire crowd to see and cheer.
Dedicated to my parents. Happy Father's Day!
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